Trivia Anyone?
by John Friel, Reporter at Large
Article © 2000 The Barfly Monthly

Think you're smart, huh? Well, let's see you prove it.

One of the smarter, and funner things you can do on a Thursday night is to find out if you're as smart as you think you are. Assemble some friends, trek on out to Bube's Brewery in Mount Joy--and tackle Team Trivia, answering questions posed by your host, Curtis Earth, the drinking man's Alex Trebek. You can also check out Curtis and trivia on Tuesdays at Lancaster Malt Brewing Company. Same set up, just a different place and a different day.)(Website manager's comment: Remember, this is an article from 1999; the schedule has changed.)
The format is simple: Curtis asks the questions. You write down the answers. There are three rounds of 10 questions each, and the point value rises as you go: Round 1, one point per question; Round 2, two points; Round 3, five points. Simple. Trouble is, some of the questions are way out there, stuff that nobody should know...but someone always does, dammit.

Good things don't survive by virtue of their virtuousness; someone has to get behind them and push. Trivia night has survived as long as it has--and how long that is, is anybody's guess, since Curtis likes to claim it's been around since, say, the Punic Wars--because Curtis invented it, perfected it, keeps it going and keeps it interesting.
The game's appeal, the thing that brings teams back week after week, year after year, is difficult to define. "It's a mixture of competition, a penchant for trivia, and my personality," Curtis humbly postulates. He's probably right. This is a game for those who enjoyed school, who liked to take tests, and who have a high corniness threshold. Among Curtis's many running gags is the Mystery Celebrity Guest who showed up last week. Kim Basinger and Meryl Streep have been there, whether they know it or not.

Trivia night is a chance to get in touch with your inner nerd. "Being smart is cool," Curtis says. "It's only un-cool in high school." For an old fart like me, many years removed from high school, there are way too many questions from the late '70s and early '80s--the era that gave us the Mondale-Ferraro ticket, the Partridge Family, the Vega, the Pinto and the Santa Maria...no, wait, that was an earlier era. But this ain't "Jeopardy," Toto: At trivia night, everyone is equal. It helps to know the Bible, but it's just as valuable to have watched "The Jetsons religiously. I mean, it's trivial.

Ergo, Pee Wee Herman and Tiny Tim are as important as Beethoven and Shakespeare. Yes, the answer to a lot of the questions should be, "Who gives a damn how many hours a snake sleeps?," but that answer won't get you any points. Get used to it. Mensa members wail and gnash their teeth, and that's just fine with Curtis.

"The people on 'Jeopardy' represent a small percentage of the country," he says. "The people at my show represent a huge percentage of the country."

Proudly representing their country at a typical trivia night are teams with all-American names like The Lethal Amoebas; G-Man and Company; The Trilateral Commission; Still Thinking; The Pros from Dover; and a home-grown team of employees, Bube's Boobs. There are also the Callipygeans--which is Latin for "having shapely buttocks." Do they? Sorry, I'm not an ass man. C'mon and judge for yourself. And while we're into the Latin names, there's Bicephalic Monster--Latin for "two-headed." It's a lie. He only has one. But it's a damned good one. (Continued...)

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